Anger & Rage

I remember, a long time ago, reading a poem about anger that really made an impression on me, and I carried it in my wallet for years. There was no author listed, and the poem went something like this.

When anger gets the best of me
And I have lost my head
I often say a lot of things
I wish I hadn't said.
For when that white hot flame
Burns to a bitter end
I find at last but, oh, too late
I've lost a cherished friend.

At that time, I was young and was thinking only of situations in which expressing certain things while angry might result in loss of friends or, at the very least, hurting someone's feelings. I didn't give much thought to the immeasurable damage that could result from anger being totally mismanaged and the consequential irresponsible and usually aggressive behavior.

Now, there isn't a day that goes by when news reports do not reflect the actions of individuals or groups behaving aggressively. It comes as no surprise, therefore, that it has been estimated that 20% of Americans may suffer from anger management problems.

Anger itself is a natural emotion that serves us well when used to help us out of threatening or dangerous circumstances. The problem arises when we do not deal with and control our anger so as to avoid harming ourselves or others.

If we suppress our anger it may negatively impact our mental and physical health whereas if we express it more aggressively resulting in murder, domestic violence, road rage, child abuse, etc., to name a few of the consequences.

Anger is usually experienced when a person perceives that he or someone he cares about has been offended in some way. Generally, but not always, these perceived or actual events take place immediately before the resultant anger occurs. However, in other situations, this anger may be suppressed and either results in negative physical or emotional symptoms to the individual, or the suppression of it causes it to build over time and may result in aggression toward something or someone who was innocent of the perceived offenses.

When anger is expressed aggressively, it can end in road rage, child abuse, domestic violence, murder, or worse.

The world seems to be full of anger and this fact has been recognized as problematic for quite some time. Marvin Gaye sang about it when he paraphrased the previously mentioned poem in the "Anger" track for his 1978 album, Here, My Dear. Ironically, Marvin was fatally shot by his father six years later, when he tried to break up an argument his parents were having. Even more ironically, Marvin had gotten so angry that he had beaten his father severely, thus prompting his father, Marvin Sr. to grab the gun his son had given him just months before.

Related reading on this subject: Anger management therapy in New York City.